or maybe it’s this. . .

I often feel as if much of what I spend my time doing isn’t what I really want to be doing.

Much of the rest of my time I spend trying to quiet my mind and the space around me so that the words can grow that will tell me what to do next, that will tell me how I (am supposed to) feel.

When I manage to quiet my mind and the space enough, I find that all I really want is silence.

This is ironic, because I am a woman of many words.

Maybe I’ve used them all up. But I doubt it.

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5 thoughts on “or maybe it’s this. . .

  1. But you can make so many new patterns with them! 🙂
    I just got back from my second ever yoga lesson. It’s… interesting!
    I wonder if the coach/yogi/boo-boo noticed as I did that we’re the only left-handers there. It wasn’t so much that I noticed. It was that I noticed I noticed.
    I have a very dear friend who went on a 10 day meditation retreat. I envy them soooo much. I really don’t think I’d ever have the self discipline to learn. But I see that silence can be a very rich environment indeed.

  2. I feel a desire for silence sometimes too. I like to come home to an empty house, or arrive at work before anyone else. But sadly, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is not so much an opportunity to come face to face with myself, but rather a time when I can avoid dealing with difficult work colleagues, or retreat from the barrage of political argument on the home television, or not have to cook dinner for three other people. I find that I don’t like what I see when I look into myself. But Sheriji, maybe your silence goes further than mine – beyond and deeper than the time of self evaluation – to a state of just being??

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