stumbling around in the dark

It’s funny (strange, not Ha!) how dark the world can get
sometimes; not a soft gentle cloak that envelops and
comforts, but jagged and hard
like those medieval walls with pointy shards of metal
closing in.

I find myself stumbling around there now
and again hearing the voices of the people I love
but somehow unable to answer
hearing but not hearing, being touched
but not reached.

And then the world turns a little bit green
and the sun comes out the sky a painful blue
and a gentle breeze chimes the wind chimes and rustles
the capiz shells of the lamp they
laughed at me for buying

and I find myself in the light again.

I’m going to go out, now, to
water the hollyhocks and clematii
and spray the deer repellent around the lawn
and then I’m going to read in the chair
on the front porch;
Dexter the dumb dog on my lap;
watching the light.

2 thoughts on “stumbling around in the dark

  1. In the end, it’s in us to realise that we ourselves provide the darkness we feel plucking at our sanity. One blink and with effort we can turn on the lights too. Somehow that seems harder in practice. It’s more than just not providing darkness.
    I’ve started going to yoga. Blokes yoga you understand, nothing weird and wussy… 😉
    It’s helped me think even more esoterically than I did before. You have been warned.
    Enjoy the sunshine Sheriji, the dumb dog, and your inner light. It’s with you always. Just learn how to turn it on when you feel the need.

  2. Just started Pers Patterson’s “Out Stealing Horses” — the narrator is recounting himself as a boy, clearing some grass from a field, and avoiding a patch of stinging nettles. His father comes out and asks why he left them, and he says “It will hurt.” Dad says, striding in and pulling up the nettles by hand, “You decide when it hurts.”

    It’s a nice idea, but not always easy to do.

    And good for you on the yoga. Best thing ever. I actually wrenched my back on Friday, and instead of taking 3 weeks – 3 months to recover, am almost completely better already. I credit all of the plank/hovers my yogi/torturer makes us do on Wednesdays.

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