I know I’ve said this already (it is a category, after all), but it really is never the end; at least not for as long as I’m still here

So two weeks ago Husband was in the hospital after chest pains and passing out in the middle of the night, and ended up with 4 stents in his arteries.

Last week, after much drama and discord, I resigned a position I should have quit years ago, and, while grateful for the luxury of getting to walk away, deeply hurt by the circumstances that made it necessary and worried about my future finances.

Today I found out I won a Fulbright award.

 

After a lifetime of chasing things; ambition and striving for more and better and more and better, I’ve just decided to sit with who I am and what I am and see what comes to me. I’m good at what I do and have worked really (really really) hard to get there. I’ve been thwarted by people and things I’ve never understood. Husband thinks it’s misogyny; I think it might be that, a little. But it might also be a lot of other things, and I spend a lot of time thinking they are things I’m supposed to learn from, so I can become More and Better.

But fuck it. Enough Learning already.

For a while, I’m just going to be.

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6 thoughts on “I know I’ve said this already (it is a category, after all), but it really is never the end; at least not for as long as I’m still here

  1. Not sure we ever stop learning. The trick is to realise what we’ve learnt and then make use of it… (especially where fucking is concerned!)

    Sad to hear today about all the anti-Syrian/Canadian rhetoric coming from your side of the 49th. Even calls for strengthening the border to keep us ISIS-lovin’ Canucks out. Glad Fulbright was smart enough to understand that we can all learn from how other cultures do things. Well done on the award, and I hope el hombre is taking those rehabilitation sessions seriously. I have a friend who’s travelling a similar road just now and he’s been told most people drop out after only a couple of sessions. Enjoy what life brings you next!

    • Don’t listen to anything any of the Republican candidates say, at least not in any way to represent how I feel about anything. I am just suddenly finding myself in such a grateful place — for Husband and his health, for the options available to me to walk away from what doesn’t serve me and the time to find what does, for everything I have and how much of it I don’t deserve.

      Life is good. I hope it is for you as well.

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