Holding on to happiness

Seems like this is the hardest thing for me.

It seems to be a shape-shifter;

Once I know what it looks like,

Smells like,

Sounds like.

It’s there and then it’s 


I can give up sugar and meat

Exercise more

Or less

Sleep more

Or less

Read a book knit a sweater watch three episodes of Call the Midwife

Sleep on your left shoulder

Or curled up around my pillows

Swear off bourbon

Stop smoking

Clean all of the bathrooms and organize every drawer.

It’s still there.

And then it’s gone.